Best Sex Toys for Couples: How to Choose for Shared Pleasure

Somewhere along the way, sex toys got tagged as something you reach for when a relationship is lacking intimacy or has fizzled out, and if we’re being honest, that’s backwards. Toys don’t fill a gap between partners, they open up sensations that neither of you can create with hands (or bodies) alone, and they help long-distance couples stay physically connected across time zones instead of settling for sexting or spicy video calls.

Before we get started, though, we wanted to let you know that this isn’t about replacing anything that already works between you and your partner; it’s more about expanding the menu, adding a hands-free option for the nights you both want your hands elsewhere, or a Bluetooth toy for the weeks you’re apart. Whether you and your partner(s) share a bed every night, or a screen from thousands of miles away, there’s a toy built for your specific situation.

In this guide, we’ll go through (in detail) the toys that would fit your situation, how to choose them, how to use them, and what to keep in mind about safety and consent along the way.

Below is a quick look at the toys we’ll highlight later on.

If you’ve ever wondered if sex toys can actually improve sex with your partner, then the answer is yes. However, you should know that toys don’t replace what you already have together; instead, they add options, and options tend to keep long-term partnerships from going stale.

Toys can hit angles, rhythms, and intensities that really cannot be replicated by another human. Research on partnered toy use points to real gains in sexual satisfaction and a wider range of sexual expression, especially for couples who’d otherwise default to the same old routine.

There’s also a practical side that rarely gets mentioned: sex toys were built for a specific job (think about a suction-cup dildo, or a hands-free stroker) which can take the physical strain out of positions that would otherwise make your partner super tired early on. That alone extends how long a session can comfortably last, and it means neither partner is doing all the physical work while the other one is receiving it (aka being a pillow princess).

If we’re being honest, the physical payoff is only half the story. Picking out a toy together, laughing through the first try, and talking afterward about what worked (or didn’t work) builds a kind of communication that’s hard to replicate any other way. Couples therapists have long pointed to shared novelty as a trust builder. Trying something new together, waiting for each other’s reactions, and adjusting on the fly is intimacy practice in disguise, even when neither of you sees it that way.

For long-distance couples specifically, sex toys that can sync to each other replace the flat, one-directional feeling you get when you try to spice things up over FaceTime. When you use synced toys, you can feel your partner doing something to you, in real time, from hundreds of miles away, which changes how “apart” actually feels.

Let’s get one thing clear though, sex toys do not replace a partner. They're a tool, not a substitute for chemistry, communication, or effort, the same way a good playlist doesn't replace the DJ, and a great recipe doesn't replace the cook.

There’s no single “best” toy for a couple, as it depends entirely on what you’re trying to do together, tonight or long-term. Here are some toys you can match to the moment instead of guessing.

If this is your first toy as a couple, we’d suggest starting small, quiet, and low-pressure. For example, Ferri is a magnetic panty vibrator that clips discreetly into place and stays under 45 decibels, which makes it easy to control and even easier to laugh about if it takes a session or two to get comfortable with.

Pair it with the Lush Anal, a slim, tapered plug with a flat, no-edges tip that makes anal exploration genuinely approachable for whichever partner wants to try it first. Neither of these toys requires prior experience or a PhD in sex toyology, and both are simple enough to figure out together.

Foreplay is where you build anticipation, not rush toward the finish line. Our Fizz's dual-head design gives the partner with a vulva suction on one end and rhythmic tapping on the other, so there's room to edge and tease rather than land on one fixed sensation.

On the other hand, Gush 2 Motion boasts flexible wings which wrap around the glans and frenulum of the partner born with a penis, delivering oscillation and vibration together in a spot most toys skip entirely. Take turns controlling each other's toy through the app, and let the anticipation do its own work before things move further.

Wearing a toy during penetrative sex adds a layer of stimulation unlike any other. Our Lush 4 is slim and stable enough to stay put internally while your partner takes the controls from their phone, meaning that they’re actually curating your stimulation experience even in the moments they may not be physically touching your body. Its five-minute rapid charge is also worth knowing about: there's no waiting around if the mood shows up unannounced.

Watching each other, rather than only touching each other, is its own kind of intimacy and it takes the pressure off performing for one another. Give one partner the Max 2, which combines 360-degree contractions with vibration for a more lifelike feel of a vagina, and the other the Velvo, whose rolling-bead design rolls stimulation from the opening of the vagina to the G-spot, while a separate arm handles clitoral stimulation.

As these toys are both Lovense Toy Sync Master Controller toys, you can feel your partner’s rhythms in real time, without either of you needing to touch each other or use a phone app. Facing each other, rather than side by side, tends to make the experience feel more shared than parallel.

Sometimes you both just want your hands free to touch each other, kiss, or hold on rather than managing a toy. Mission 2 suctions to nearly any smooth surface at up to a 180-degree angle, with vibration that intensifies automatically the deeper it's inserted. Solace Pro desk-mounts at an adjustable angle for true hands-free stroking, with both leaving your hands completely available for whatever else you have in mind.

For couples who want simultaneous, matched stimulation rather than taking turns, Lush 4 and Gush 2 Motion are built to be worn together as a set. Both are hands-free and connect to the Lovense Remote app, so one partner can adjust both toys' intensity from a single screen, which is genuinely handy when you want to set the pace for two people at once instead of managing two separate apps mid-moment.

Couples with two penises tend to get more mileage from toys designed for simultaneous, individual use rather than toys built around penetration between two bodies. Max 2 offers full-length stroking with contractions for the partner who wants that sensation, while Edge 2's adjustable neck and dual motors cover prostate and perineum stimulation for the partner who wants that instead, or in addition, on a different night.

Both toys work independently, so there's no need to coordinate timing unless you want to. Additionally, as Max 2 is a Master Controller toy, you can control the Edge 2’s vibrations with your strokes. Read more in our long-distance sex toys for gay couples guide.

Lush 4 and Velvo both combine internal G-spot stimulation with an external clitoral arm, so you can each wear one and swap control back and forth through the app, or hand one partner both controls for the night and see where that goes. Both toys are fully waterproof, too, so a shower together doesn't have to mean pausing the fun. For more pairings built the same way, see our best lesbian sex toys roundup.

His-and-hers anal play doesn't have to mean the same toy for both of you, and if we’re being completely honest, it shouldn’t. Hush 2 comes in four sizes from 1 inch up to 2.25 inches, so whichever partner is newer to anal play can genuinely start small and size up on their own schedule.

Edge 2's adjustable neck targets the prostate and perineum directly for the partner with one. Our his and hers butt plugs guide walks through pairing the two step by step.

Distance is the exact problem app-controlled toys were built to solve, and it shows in how these two are designed. Solace Pro and Spinel are both Master Controller toys, which means you can do more than control each other’s toys in the Remote app. Instead, you can use your toy to control your partner’s vibrations, sensations and more in real time. More on making this work in our AI sex toys for long-distance couples piece.

Date night doesn't have to mean putting the fun on pause until you're home. Ferri and Edge 2 are both quiet enough for public wear, under 45 decibels, which is quieter than most restaurant chatter, so one of you can hold the controls under the table while the other tries to keep a straight face through dinner.

Let’s get one thing clear: you should skip the “which toy is objectively best” question. There isn’t a universal answer, because the right toy depends entirely on your situation. Instead, work through these questions in order, together if you can, and let the answers rule out most of the options before you start comparing specific products.

Start with Gush 2 Motion and Fizz on their lowest settings, and let your partner adjust the intensity through the app rather than announcing every change out loud. The unpredictability can be honestly very sexy, and that makes up the majority of the control appeal here.

Take turns being the one in control instead of one partner always driving. There's no rush. Foreplay that builds anticipation rather than getting skipped past tends to make everything after it better. For more on pacing a session well, see how to use a vibrator during sex.

Edge 2 and Ferri are both quiet and discreet enough to wear out of the house. Insert or position the toy before you leave, connect to the Lovense Remote app, and let one partner hold the app controls for the evening. Agree beforehand on a discreet signal for "too much, dial it back.”

Public play works best when there's a clear, fast way to lower the intensity without breaking the moment entirely. We’d suggest testing out your toys at home first so there are no in public surprises.

Solace Pro and Spinel, like all Lovense toys, connect to the Lovense Remote app, so physical distance doesn't matter once you're both set up in the app.

Start a video call first. Seeing each other's reactions in real time is a big part of what makes long-distance toy control feel intimate instead of mechanical or transactional. Take turns adjusting speed and pattern rather than defaulting to whichever partner is more tech-comfortable always being the one in control.

A few ground rules make partnered toy use safer and more comfortable for everyone involved, every time.

The right toy for your relationship depends on what you're actually trying to do together, tonight, next weekend, or across a time zone.

Start with whatever matches your current situation, whether that's beginner-friendly, hands-free, long-distance, or somewhere in between, and let curiosity guide the rest from there. None of these toys replace connection with your partner; they're simply another way of building more of it.